Loving Someone From a Distance

I have been sitting with this for a while now.

You can love someone deeply and still accept that they no longer have a place in your life the way they once did.
You can care about them. Miss them. Hurt for what they are going through.
And still know deep down that it is not your place anymore.

And that is okay.

This is something I had to learn through the quiet ending of a friendship that once meant the world to me.

When my friend Alex was diagnosed with cancer, I did not fully know what was happening. It was downplayed. Parts were hidden. I was kept at arm’s length. Later, I learned that she did not want to burden me because she felt my life looked too perfect from the outside.

That broke my heart in ways I did not expect.

Not because she was sick. Not because she needed space. But because love does not keep score. Love does not measure worthiness by who seems to be doing well. Love does not say you cannot show up for me because your life looks easier than mine.

I would have shown up anyway.

But people cope the way they know how. Fear makes people withdraw. Pain makes people protect themselves. And sometimes, in that process, they shut out the very people who want to hold them through it.

I had to accept that I could not force my way into someone’s life who was not ready or able to let me in.

It is okay to let go of the version of a friendship you were still holding onto.
It is okay to stop reaching out when it is not being returned.
It is okay to love someone quietly from a distance.
It is okay to grieve what was and still move forward in peace.

Losing a friendship like this is a different kind of grief. There is no fight. No explosion. No clear ending. Just a slow realization that the door is no longer open the way it once was.

And that hurts.

But it does not mean the love was not real. It does not mean the friendship did not matter. It does not mean anyone failed.

It simply means the season changed.

I still wish her well. I still care deeply. I still hold love for her in my heart. I thank GOD for the years we did have together.
Just from a distance now.

Sometimes loving someone means releasing them from the version of the relationship you hoped would survive.

And that can be one of the most painful and peaceful acts at the same time.